What is Self-Compassion and Why Do We Need More of It?

Self-compassion is not self-indulgence or a luxury, in other words “nice to have”. It’s an evidence-based skill that strengthens resilience, lowers stress, and helps us sustain our ability to care for others. What I have heard from my students has been that self-compassion is a “need to have”, not a “nice to have”. And good - news, research shows us that self-compassion is a buildable skill, not something you’re either both with or not.

According to researcher Kristin Neff, PhD, self-compassion has three core elements:

1. Mindfulness vs. Denial or Over-Identification

Mindfulness means bringing awareness to the present moment—our thoughts, emotions, and body sensations—without judgment. It helps us recognize when we are under stress or struggling, rather than ignoring or becoming overwhelmed by it.

2. Common Humanity vs. Isolation

When challenges arise, it’s easy to feel alone. Self-compassion reminds us that imperfection is part of being human—we all struggle, and we are not alone.

3. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

Instead of criticizing ourselves for not being “good enough,” we practice treating ourselves with the same warmth and encouragement we would offer a loved one. Self-kindness also includes fierce self-compassion—protecting, providing, and motivating ourselves alongside tenderness.

The Research on Self-Compassion and Well-Being

A growing body of research shows that self-compassion is deeply connected to both emotional and physical health:

• Associated with fewer negative states such as depression, anxiety, stress, and shame (Johnson & O’Brien, 2013; Zessin et al., 2015).

• Linked to lower negative body image (Albertson et al., 2014).

• Correlated with more positive states like happiness, life satisfaction, optimism, and even better physical health (Neff et al., 2007; Friis et al., 2015; Hall et al., 2013).

• For healthcare professionals, higher levels of self-compassion are tied to greater satisfaction with caregiving roles (Raab, 2014).

Try This: A Self-Compassion Break

Learning self-compassion is about practice, not perfection. Here are some simple ways to begin:

• How do I treat a friend? Next time you notice self-criticism, ask: What would I say to a close friend in this situation? Then offer yourself the same kindness.

• Self-Compassion Break & Supportive Touch: Pause, place a hand on your heart, and move through of the three elements—mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness. Want some help? Let’s go through it together!

• Notice & record: Track moments in your day when you acted with compassion toward yourself—no matter how small.

• Address misgivings: Some people worry self-compassion will make them weak or self-indulgent. Research shows the opposite—it builds resilience, motivation, and balance. For more, check out our blog on the Myths of Self-Compassion.

Bringing Self-Compassion into Healthcare

In my work, I offer both Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) programs and the Self-Compassion Training for Healthcare Communities (SCHC)—a six-week adaptation designed for the unique needs of healthcare workers. These evidence-based trainings provide practical tools you can use on and off the job to manage stress, reduce burnout, and build resilience.

You can also find guided practices on my Insight Timer page.

👉 Ready to explore how self-compassion can support your life and work? Book a free discovery call today, or visit my pages on MSC and SCHC for more details.